Colbert on Bush ...

... at the White House Correspondents' Dinner

On Iraq: "I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."

On Cheney's hunting incident: "To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush...I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now what, I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough...Somebody shoot me in the face."

On Bush's response to global warming: "[Talking to Jesse Jackson] is like boxing a glacier...Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is."

To Senator John McCain: "So wonderful to see you coming back into the Republican fold. I've actually got a summer house in South Carolina. Look me up when you go to speak at Bob Jones University."

On Bush's "steadfastness": "The greatest thing about this man is that he's steady, you know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday--no matter what happened Tuesday."

On the press response to the White House shake-up and the metaphor of "rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic": "This administration is soaring, not sinking...If anything, they are re-arranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg."

On Bush's approval rating: "Now I know there's some polls out there that say this man has a 32 percent approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality.'

Pay no attention to people who say the glass is half empty...Because 32 percent means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass, is my point. But I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash."

On Bush's response to disasters: "I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers, and rubble, and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world."

My Conservative Voice

As someone who wasn't born in this country, who came here legally and followed the complex process required to live in America I'm angered by the attitude of illegal immigrants and the governments response. I'm now inclined to follow the opinion of hard-line Republicans even though initially I was more sympathetic. Two things have really annoyed me, the first is the protestors waving Mexican flags, the second is the Spanish version of the American anthem. This country gives people a sense entitlement that has extended beyond the citizenry to people who came here illegally and remained.

Amnesty is wrong, rounding up 11 million people and sending them back to their country sends the right message, irrespective of the cost. I was subjected to multiple interviews, background checks, finger printing, health examinations and ridiculously long lines. Why should anyone else who wants to live in this country not have to endure the same?

Bush the Decider

"I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."

Not much to say really...

Old Dog, Old Tricks

What can we do to stop Iran from utilizing nuclear technology? More importantly, how do we justify stopping them? Obviously Iran is not the most stable, western-loving country on Earth, but what specific reasons do we have for telling them to "do as we say and not as we do?"

As various types of technology become more affordable and ubiquitous across the globe, we are going to realize serious repercussions from our cavalier attitude. Don't you think we'd have stronger legs to stand on with countries developing nuclear programs if we started to phase ours out? If the USA led by positive example, just once in the history of the world, I think humankind would be astonished at the good that would come of it.

A man of peace

Updated: Republican Family Values x 3: 2 Repukes and 1 Dem Gone Wild!

Homeland Security Official Arrested

"The deputy press secretary for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security was arrested Tuesday for using the Internet to seduce what he thought was a teenage girl... [he] had a sexually explicit conversation with what he believed was a 14-year-old girl whose profile he saw on the internet... The girl was an undercover Polk County Sheriff's Computer Crimes detective... Doyle sent the girl pornographic movie clips and had sexually explicit conversations via the Internet... [he] revealed his name, that he worked for the Homeland Security Department and offered his office and government issued cell phone numbers."

Republicans: the party of national security and traditional American values.

Wait! There's another one!

"...a senior Homeland Security Department law enforcement agent was busted last October for exposing himself to a girl in the food court of a mall... that law enforcement agent, Frank Figueroa, used to run Operation Predator."

They put him in charge of catching child molesters!

But wait! There's another one!

"Michael Burks: My father was a police officer. I was a police officer. I work for the Department of Homeland security. I understand you guys have a job to do and I’m not trying to tell anything else other than that. I swear to God, as God as my witness, I’m wearing a St. Michael’s medal right now, okay? I was not going to do anything with her."

I watched that one on television, on Nightline!

AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH! REPUKES! GEORGE BUSH AND HIS SICK REPUBLICAN PERVERTS WANT TO HAND OVER YOUR NATIONAL SECURITY TO CHILD MOLESTERS! WHERE WILL IT STOP!?

A Realistic Plan from a Real Leader

If you're like me, you despise the job our president has done. On almost every conceivable leadership metric, I'd give him an F. During the last Democratic National Convention I had an opportunity to see Barack Obama speak. It was an outstanding speech that gave me a glimmer of hope for our political landscape.

Here's a transcript of remarks he made recently in Chicago. The words describe a realistic plan for reducing our fossil fuel dependency, as well as illustrate what an incompetent our shameful president is (of course, Obama doesn't subscribe to the type of name-calling I do). I hope Mr. Obama continues to grow in the right direction, and his influence is felt across the nation. It's true leaders like this that have a chance of turing our country around.

The Bush "Guest" Worker Program

Time has released a poll that indicates Americans overwhelming favor a guest worker program. I wonder what the result had would have been if the question was "Do you favor a program that is equivalent to sanctioning slavery?" Not sure 80% of Americans would think that’s a great idea. So basically this program allows illegal immigrants to work without the rights afforded to other Americans then after a few years of paying taxes they are sent back to the third world countries they came from. Sounds awesome.